My Buffalo Bills Christmas List

1. Rex Ryan reverses lap band surgery so he can put more food down his mouth and have less time for words to come out of it

2. Rob Gronkowski demands a trade to Buffalo in the off-season after hearing about how good the night life is from Marshawn Lynch.

3. To be invited as the only male guest to the next LeSean McCoy all female party.

4. That Tom Brady, Bill Belichick and Robert Kraft are all finally arrested for the international drug ring they have been running for the past 15 years while clearly just using football as a cover-up this whole time.

5. For Mario Williams to "take his talents" to some other NFL city for next year and beyond.

6. That if the Patriots are going to win Super Bowl 50 that I will be lulled to sleep at halftime by Coldplay and will not arouse from my slumber until the Buffalo Bills are in the playoffs.

7. More videos of Bills fans posted to Deadspin

8. Sammy Watkins gets thrown the ball so much in 2016 he needs to ask Tyrod Taylor to actually throw to him less.

9. That after Super Bowl 50 Steve Harvey will mess up and announce the Buffalo Bills as the Super Bowl Champions.

10. A division title, a playoff berth and a Super Bowl Victory next year (what I can dream can't I?)